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After tweaking it a little, I believe I came up with a card that was not only funny but was actually capable of having a deck built around it (hint: it wants counterspells and cards that use counters)

Lifegain decks are completely unable to do what they want until this card is off the battlefield, and token decks have to be very careful about how many token creatures theyre generating, or else theyll lose to Rampaging Ferocidons triggered ability

Especially compared to Boros burn and drain effects like the classic Lightning Helix, this effect is so over costed that it is almost never worth paying for

cast-from-exile decks are mana-hungry, so the ramp is invaluable

Of course, rares and mythics with the draconic frame cards are much more valuable than their uncommon and common counterparts